


I Wanna Love

by Xakkey03



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Concerts, F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied drinking, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 07:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10183898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xakkey03/pseuds/Xakkey03
Summary: Lost in his thoughts he ponders when he'll find love.





	

He sat in his dressing room slouching in a chair with his head thrown back as he stared up at the ceiling. Around him his band members and staff bustled about making noise and talking. Some of the female staff fussed over him as well. They flirted, whispered and questioned about any and everything. If he happened to look at one of them they’d blush, mumble something and scurry away.

He was so _tired_ of being in the spotlight sometimes. Sometimes he _hated_ the attention on him and his band-mates. The media and many fans either knew too much or too little about them. He found it endearing sometimes and other times he found it _extremely_ annoying. He enjoyed performing, doing crazy antics and being surrounded by the cheering fans. It was fun and gave him a place to belong to and feel loved. He loved the back-stage visitors and the after parties. It gave him a place to be other than home.

Home was quiet, empty, spacious and cold, but more importantly it was…… _lonely_ … He met plenty of people, hooked up with plenty of people but they never filled the emptiness in his heart. He never brought anyone, because for now that was his place to escape. He could hide from the fans, the media, his company and sometimes even his band-mates. Although he knew that wasn’t the main reason he didn’t bring people home. That main reason would simply be that he’d yet to meet the right one.

He sighed, turned his head and glanced around the room and spotted Daesung, who was sprawled on the floor singing with his eyes closed. Seungri was in mid conversation with several of the staff ad from the looks of it he was either flirting or telling a story of something hilariously stupid the band did. TaeYang stood in front of a floor length mirror practicing dance moves with a slight frown on his face. JiYong sat in a chair not too far from him bobbing his head to whatever music he had playing through his earbuds.

Sometimes he wondered how his band-mates, who were more like brothers to him now, felt about being in the spotlight. He wondered if they were _completely_ enjoying it or if they felt the same emptiness he did. He wondered if they filled the void temporarily by drinking and partying like he did. It’s not like he did that most of the time though… When he wasn’t performing, and touring with his band he was either participating as an actor in a movie or drama or immersing himself in the art world.

He sighed in relief once the staff finally stopped fussing over him and realized he wasn’t going to give them his attention. The staff joined the group listening to Seungri or watching TaeYang. They pretty much gave up on trying to get Daesung off the floor, who only sand louder when someone spoke to him or tried to move him. With the staff gone he quickly stood and escaped the room.

He wandered around the building lost in his thoughts and ignoring the fans and staff that rushed to him, each vying for his attention. He towered over most of them and kept looking forward as he walked. Eventually he couldn’t move as a crowd surrounded him. He did an awkward shuffle to a door he spotted, when the door suddenly opened. A lady peaked her head out, glanced at the crowd before glancing at him, sighed and ducked back into the office. He tried shuffling out of the crowd again when he felt a hand around his wrist tug him down and the next moment he was running down a hall following the lady who had peaked her head out of the door.

She led him to another dressing room behind the stage where he and his band were to perform soon. She tugged him inside and quickly shut the door. After several minutes of awkward silence, she turned to him. He looked back at her and liked the fire he saw in her eyes. She looked at him as a person, not as an idol or star. She flashed him a grin before bowing and slipping out of the room.

He was left standing in the dressing room feeling awed, confused and excited. He let out a loud, booming laugh before collapsing in a chair. As he waited for the concert to start he started thinking of how to find the mysterious lady again. Luckily he wouldn’t have to search far, for she worked at the venue and came to introduce herself after the concert.

 


End file.
